Eitan Bar’s Divorce and Dismissal from ONE FOR ISRAEL: A Clarification

I am writing this “letter” because I’m getting lots of messages asking me to address different rumors that have been spreading about me, my faith, my personal life, and my divorce. Unfortunately, some of these rumors are quite malicious. I want to take this opportunity to set the record straight and provide a brief summary of my personal situation:

• • I renounced Baptistic and Calvinistic theology, not my faith! Despite no longer holding to the Calvinistic and Baptistic worldviews held by my previous ministry (ONE FOR ISRAEL), I have never stopped believing that Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior. In fact, my faith is stronger (and purer) than ever. Please ignore malicious rumors suggesting I left the faith just because I publicly write against Calvinistic/Baptistic theology (which is held by the majority of Messianic ministries in Israel).

• • Background: Starting in 2017, while working on my doctorate, I started quietly reconsidering my Calvinistic-Baptistic views, which was not well received at home (both my own home and ministry/church). Simultaneously, while I was involved in full-time ministry and leading a large team, I started suffering from and was diagnosed with severe burnout. The depression and anxiety affected my already strained marriage all the more. During that period, the leadership of our Messianic community in Netanya (four pastors, three of which were also co-workers/leaders at ONE FOR ISRAEL) fell apart. The pastors boycotted each other, which led to the church’s splitting (to this day, they no longer communicate with one another unless through lawyers.) I personally overheard a phone call whereby one of them called the other two “devils.” Ironically, all of them adhered to the same Reformed theology. Many members, including two of the pastors, left the messianic congregation. Observing their treatment of each other while also working with them daily and considering the toxic environment, it felt unwise to share with them my own personal marital and faith struggles, fearing I would receive the same treatment. 
  • In 2021, following several years of couples counseling, my wife at the time informed me of her final decision to divorce. She wrote a formal letter stating that her reason for divorce was lack of chemistry. I have much respect for her both as a person and as a mother, and I take full responsibility for my side in our failing marriage. We aimed to end it calmly and without unnecessary tension, such as lawsuits or unnecessary public attention. Since we both were active in the Messianic community and ministry, we kept things mostly to ourselves. Quickly, however, we realized that it doesn’t work that way in our fundamentalist Messianic circle. As word spread that we were going through divorce proceedings, messianic leaders and our pastors began to intervene and engage in spiritual manipulation forcefully. For example, our (baptist) pastor tried to prevent the divorce by telling us how God “dealt” with a relative of his when she got a divorce – she got ill with terminal cancer and died. My pastor repeated this story several times. The other (reformed) pastor told us that “God is not interested in your happiness,” and therefore, the purpose of marriage has nothing to do with us being happy. I was disappointed to hear these kinds of views from those who were supposed to guide and counsel people on spiritual matters. As someone with a doctorate in Bible and theology myself, I knew not to take to heart this nonsense talk about a God who doesn’t care how we feel and will punish my ex-wife or me with cancer. Following, I stopped attending our church.
  • The Messianic church/ministry in Israel is often viewed as a Puritan-like ultra-conservative movement. The sub-denomination I was involved with in Israel (reformed Baptist) frequently compared in its views/style/theology to the closed-Brethren church. The Messianic movement in Israel is considered a cult by both the Israeli government and the majority of the Israeli people, a perception that I have personally come to experience and speak about with friends even years before my exit. 
  • Following the divorce, the ministry leaders and elders around me announced to me that it was forbidden for me ever to marry again unless my ex-wife died. One leader publicly confronted me on that issue in front of several other leaders, asking me to publicly agree I can never again marry as long as my ex-wife is alive. Feeling pressured and on the spot, I felt forced to agree.

• • Fast-forward to the summer of 2022: I began dating a co-worker who had been a great comfort to me during my divorce. Her name is Anastasia (she just came out of a relationship herself). Given the hyper-conservative views in our ministry and church and, of course, the words spoken to me by the leaders, we decided to continue developing our romantic relationship in confidence for the time being.

• • A private detective was sent to follow me and discover our relationship. A dismissal letter from ONE FOR ISRAEL followed stating that I was fired due to “having a romantic relationship with another staff member.” The same letter/reason was given to Anastasia, who was also fired.

• • Within 24 hours, we were ostracized and a rapid spread of gossip, slander, and false rumors began (e.g., that I’m no longer a believer, that I’ve been sleeping around with different women for years, that I already dumped Anastasia and she is heartbroken, that I lost a court case against OFI, etc.). Threats began coming at us from different directions in an attempt to cancel and boycott us. Many long-time friends blocked us and will not answer our phone calls and text messages, while a few sent family members to tell us they fear of consequences (loosing their job, getting boycotted as well, etc.). This experience felt very much like what you may see in Holywood films about cults. All of this occurred during the summer of 2022. Since then, only a selected few inside the Israeli Messianic movement have made an effort to be in touch with us. This is yet one more example of some messianic’s fundamentalist and legalist worldview, the same spirit and theology that brought about Dasha’s murder in the messianic community.

• • Everyone is entitled to their own religious convictions. Our romantic relationship, however, was not meant to hurt, offend, or attack anyone’s religious convictions. We did not commit any crimes or break any laws, nor was our romantic relationship meant to hurt anyone. As Jewish evangelists, we already take so much heat from the Jewish community. It hurts immensely when the boycott and shunning comes from fellow believers. We gave our lives (almost literally) to the ministry, and suddenly we both lost our livelihoods.

• • For many years, both Anastasia and I sacrificed our reputation in Jewish and Israeli society to proclaim the name of Jesus. We have seen Jewish Israelis accepting Christ like never before. However, this also came with severe harassment from religious people and rabbis alike, curses, death threats (we lost count of how many times we had to go to the police station), including death threats over my child’s life, lawsuits, “visits” to our homes, sabotage of my car multiple times, and even hacking of my personal online accounts, including my email, while speaking to people in my name. These are only a few examples of what we had to endure while sharing the gospel in Israel these past few years. And yet, we don’t regret standing for Yeshua even for a second.
  • Many of you have emailed us about our videos disappearing – Indeed, both our names and face were removed from all the hundreds of my articles on ONE FOR ISRAEL’s website. Sadly, all evangelistic videos with Anastasia or me in them were removed as well.
  • In March 2023, I published a book against Calvinism whereby I often quoted and refuted Pastor John MacArthur, (who is a close partner with ONE FOR ISRAEL.) Two days later, a mass announcement was sent out by the ministry to “inform” over a million followers that I was fired following my divorce and relationship with Anastasia and that my publications no longer represent their views (which is true; I no longer hold to OFI’s Calvinistic/Baptistic doctrines). A very close friend of the ministry, Joel Rosenberg, also published an article publicly trying to ridicule and degrade me, purposely making it sound as if I was the one who initiated the divorce. When I asked him privately to correct it, he didn’t bother to reply; instead, I got a threatening letter from his lawyer! 

Despite different attempts to shame, degrade, and humiliate us, we have no intention of seeking revenge or retaliation. I, too, was once on top of the legalistic ivory tower, thinking I was holier than thou. I am well aware of my weaknesses and faults, repentance became almost like a hobby, and I have been working very hard this past year to restore myself through the grace of God. 

Please, keep us in your prayers!